Super Santos

This ball is nothing short of amazing. Not in its performance, mind you. Its genius lies in its marketing. I have no idea exactly what this entails. I only know that every kid I have seen lately has one. Everywhere we go we see one. Not since the red Spaulding kickball from the '80s have I seen a playground ball this prolific.

Of course, we see lots of more authentic soccer balls as well. It's amazing to see what some of these kids can do with their feet and a ball. One kid we've been playing with is an incredible striker. He can rip off powerful shots from distance with great accuracy. Today he took off his shoes and then took the ball the length of the field through defenders and scored a goal. He dances with the ball, left, right, over and back.

Of course, before the game, when someone lobbed the ball to him from five feet away, he caught it like a two year old. His arms flailed around like he had no idea what to do with them. He had to cradle the thing with his whole body like his hands had been cut off.

And that is why America will never win a World Cup.