Mail Time

Guess what I found in my mailbox last night when I got home: my phone bill!! And while getting a bill in the mail might register apathy or even distaste for you, this represented a big breakthrough for me and verizon. Allow me explain with a timeline:

Late June 2006 – I give Maxon money for the bill I know will arrive in Syracuse shortly after my move and instructions to fill out the change of address form when sending it in.

July 2006 – Maxon pays the bill and fills out the standard change of address form found on the back of all verizon wireless bills.

August 2006 – My bill arrives in Syracuse, leaving me to wonder what that form on the back is for exactly. No matter, I make the change to my profile online. Everything is quicker, easier, and more efficient online.

September 2006 – Except this. My bill arrives in Syracuse, and now I’m stumped. I double check my account online – it reflects the correct address. So why is my bill going somewhere else?

October 2006 – I finally get around to going down to the mall to handle this once and for all with a verizon employee on an official verizon computer. Foolproof. I explain the problem and the steps I’ve already taken. She brings my profile up on her screen.

“The address in this profile has already been changed.”

Yes I know. I just told you that I’m the one who changed it.

“So where is your bill being sent.”

Not there.

“Well the computer won’t let me change anything else.”

So you can’t help me? At all?

“No. But you can call customer service.”

Great.

Later that same day – The dreaded call to the automated voice menu.

“Please enter your five digit billing zip code.”

I enter XXXXX, my old zip code, since that is where I’m currently being billed.

“There should be ten digits in your ten digit wireless number. Please enter your ten digit wireless number, starting with the area code, now.”

I could have sworn they said zip code. No matter. XXX-XXX-XXXX.

“Thank you. Now please enter your five digit billing zip code.”

Okay. XXXXX.

“There should be ten digits in your ten digit wireless number. Please enter your ten digit wireless number, starting with the area code, now.”

What!?!? Fine, XXX-XXX-XXXX.

“Thank you. Now please enter your five digit billing zip code.”

(Losing all hope) XXXXX.

“There should be ten digits in your ten digit wireless number. Please enter your ten digit wireless number, starting with the area code, now.”

Click.

Still later that same day – I’m not done. I will get them this information that almost benefits them more than it does me if it’s the last thing I do. I get an actual person on the phone and she tells me she's fixed it. Half of me is relieved, the other half thinks I’ll believe it when I see it.

Yesterday – I believe! I believe! Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in saluting verizon: only 4 months and 5 attempts through every avenue made available to their valued customers to perform the most basic of tasks that was in their best interest anyway! Verizon! It’s the network!