This can't be what Henry Ford intended

Today I was supposed to go to the annual luncheon in Manhattan. We arrived at the hotel right at the noon start time and then I had to go park the van. A 15 passenger van. In Manhattan.

One of my worst memories from childhood is the time when we still lived in Maine and decided to take a day trip to the Boston Aquarium. We only had a 15 passenger van to take, and my dad drove around for what seemed to me like an eternity (about an hour as I recall now) trying to find a place that would let us park. Let’s just say that the availability of van parking in major cities has not improved since that time.

I kept circling the various blocks, seeing over and over “no full size vans.” Eventually I passed the point of no return, time-wise, and just resigned myself to my fate: I would not be getting any lunch.

During my 2 ½ hours circling the area one thought was constant: why would anyone drive in Manhattan? It is literally faster to walk, to say nothing of taking the train. Unless you absolutely had to, why would you choose a mode of transportation that lets you travel a mere 2 blocks in half an hour? When you throw in the fact that everyone, including the pedestrians, is constantly cutting you off, or beeping at you as you sit helplessly boxed in on all sides (sometimes as the first car at a green light even), it just seems like a no-brainer. Driving in Manhattan is for suckers (I realize there is a contingent that claims to like this brand of city driving. This is posturing, and it is absurd).

All in all it wasn’t too stressful once I accepted the impossibility of my task. I just stopped trying to get anywhere, which is the one way to succeed at what you’re attempting in Manhattan traffic. I was already getting nowhere; once I changed that to my goal I was blissful.

And I didn’t go hungry either. When I picked everyone up, Capt Steve was thoughtful enough to sneak my dinner out in a league of mercy bag. And after all this, if you think I was too proud to eat out of a bag, you’re crazy.